Blue Moon Blog

I’ve written plenty about it here on this blog in previous posts, but it feels important to mark the day, as it’s been one year since I slid sideways on a snowmobile into a tree. T’was a life changing event, and while I was aware of that fact mere moments after impact, even while I was trying to begin to breathe again, it’s become clear a year later now I didn’t really know the full extent of what I was in for.

I’m no spring chicken at 46, so my bones are healing a lot more slowly than docs expected and I hoped. On certain days, I still experience sharp pains along my sternum and ribs below my left chest, some days my nerves are raw, feeling nearly nearly exposed on the surface. Now, that may be because I slept in a certain position; or ’cause it’s damp or due to the barometric pressure; it may be because I exerted myself during light exercise or picked up a kid when I probably shouldn’t have. And sometimes it’s just ’cause.

At times the physical pain triggers anxiety, or vice versa. I can be panicky whether I got a good night of sleep or not. Even though I’m getting better and am on a general upwards trajectory, there are moments I wish a could take a mulligan, have a do-over. It doesn’t happen often and I don’t let those thoughts linger - what’s the point? But it’s apparent the ramifications for me and my family will be felt for a while yet, perhaps for years or the rest of my life.

Knowing that, it’s a blessing to be reminded by friends and family that they’re glad I’m still here. One friend on Facebook pointed out to me that those in the military who’ve had close calls acknowledge it with what they call Alive Day. Upon reading more about it, I’ve discovered it extends beyond the military, so there’s no reason it can’t apply to me. We’ll see if it helps me in future years to be that aware, or better to just let it pass and fade. Either way, I try to remember each day my good fortune and blessings.

It’s good to be alive.